Friday the 13th

Friday the 13th has always been a lucky day for me. Thirteen is my lucky number and also my IQ. Coincidence?

It is good luck to get up and get dressed before going out. Nothing good ever happens to naked people in public.

“How many black cats does it take to change a light bulb?”
“Just one, and they are not called black cats. They are called people of colour.”

On Friday the 13th, it is okay to put new shoes on a table as long as your feet are not in them.

If you walk backwards on Friday the 13th, then . . .
I forget what walking backwards on Friday the 13th does, but it has something to do with memory.

If a tree falls in a forest on Friday the 13th and no one is there to see it, then does this superstition make my butt look big?

“It is good luck to open an umbrella if the roof is leaking.”
“What if the roof is not leaking?”
“Yes.”

On Friday the 13th, it is bad luck to hang out with anyone named Freddy Krueger.

It is bad luck to cross the path of a speeding black car.

It is bad luck for John F. Kennedy if Friday the 13th falls on Friday, November 22nd.

“Why did the black cat cross the road?”
“To change a light bulb. And I told you it is not a black cat. It is a person of colour.”
“Er-uh-sorry.”

“Is it bad luck to see a person of colour opening an umbrella while climbing a ladder?”
“Not if it makes your butt look big.”

On Friday the 13th, it is best to wait and not rush into Saturday the 14th.

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