Upon Turning 12 . . .

My great-niece turns 12 today.  I like being a great-uncle.  (Of course, I am great at anything.  The fact that I just told you shows my insecurity.)

I remember when I was 12 years old.  I was going through puberty and masturbating up a storm.  Looking back, I am surprised my right hand did not catch fire.  Also surprising was that I did not go blind.

At 12, I learned that numbers were infinite.  What terror!  I would never know the last number because numbers went on forever.  I cried and cried.  I needed to know what the final number was.  There had to be a final number!  How could numbers go on forever?

Along with my anxiety over the concept of infinity, I feared death — not my own but one of my parents.  Some of my playmates had a parent die.  I feared that one of my parents would be next.

I eventually got over not knowing the final number and accepted the concept of infinity.  Fortunately, my parents did not die until I was well into adulthood and emotionally ready to deal with their deaths.

What will life be like in another 730 years when my great-niece is my age?  What discoveries will she make?  What fears will she overcome?  How will she do on the journey inward?

When I was 12, I had no idea of the Inner Light.  It was there, but I lacked the awareness to see it.  I was too distracted by things outside me to look inside.

I discovered this Inner Light as I journeyed from my head to my heart.  This Inner Light never leaves me and makes me unafraid to look into the darkness.

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